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     After two grueling years of a bittersweet existence, I finally returned home. I sincerely missed all the friends I had left behind. I was happy to be back yet sad to think that my battle was still unavoidably present. I sacrificed two whole years of my life while my attraction to males even grew stronger! The Mormon Church teaches that, if we are obedient to God and follow His Word, He will bless us with unimaginable happiness. This was certainly not my case. I surely was not happy; I was a mess! My obedience to the Mormon teachings had quite the opposite effect! It left me fearful and depressed. The worst part was thinking that God had abandoned me.