I Just Felt "Different"

 

     My upbringing was filled with a mix of conflicting emotions. Life quickly became very confusing and complex for a young boy who understood nothing about sexuality. Early on, I discovered that I wasn’t like other boys my age. I could not fully comprehend what set me apart from them. I just felt “different.” As I grew older, it became evident that this difference was same-gender attraction. Because I was born into the Mormon religion, I saw myself and my future in terms prescribed by my Church. The last thing I wanted was to depart from its teachings. Nor did I want to be judged, ridiculed, hated, or exiled by my congregation. I soon found myself concealing my sexuality from family, friends, and peers. For years to come, life was a long and emotionally confusing rollercoaster. I eventually came to realize that those religious beliefs I held so sacred attempted to deprive me of a very sacred part of who I am—my sexual identity.