My Calling

 

     At age nineteen, I resolved to apply to serve as a Mormon missionary. Nine months later, I received my missionary “calling” during the winter of 1998 from the Mormon prophet Gordon B. Hinckley to serve in the João Pessoa, Brazil mission. According to our beliefs, it was the very Creator of this world who called upon me to go forth into João Pessoa. I felt deep in my soul that it was my destiny. I was to preach the living Word of God to those in dire need of salvation. I would be part of building the Kingdom of God on Earth and I would forget myself for the greater good of mankind. What a magnificent thought! In spite of it all, in the back of my mind, there was a reluctance that churned madly. God despised me for my sexual attractions, and I wanted to prove myself worthy of His love. Didn’t Christ die for me so I could accept his sacrifice and at least become a “perfect Mormon” for him?