The Boy Scouts of America

 

     At twelve years old, I was finally old enough to join the Boy Scouts and experience the outdoors once more! Although I was quite timid and gentle-hearted, I loved “hanging with the guys.” I found a sense of bonding and shared purpose in our adventures together. I now wanted to be tough and crude like the other boys, and to “fit in.” Deep down I knew this was impossible because I was too tender-hearted. And I could never tell anyone in the Boy Scouts about my same-sex attraction! I would be shamed, ridiculed, and exiled forever! Although the Boy Scouts taught me many important life-lessons like honesty, I could never reveal to them my inner-self. I could never be truly honest. I had to hide myself from even those I admired and held in the utmost regard. Everywhere I turned, I was only met with confusion which led to self-hatred. Even though I was very active within the Boy Scouts and even earned the highest rank, Eagle Scout, I felt truly alone amongst the masses.